| I've been thinking about life a lot in the last week or so. I've been dreaming about things that might or might not happen and I've realized I can't change the past and I can't control the future. I know I've messed up in my life and I know that things could have been done differently, but they weren't and now I'm on the wrong side of a master's degree.
This movie I saw today. V for Vendetta. I highly reccommend it. When I first saw the commercial for it, it looked cool, but cheesey, like some cult film gone wrong. But, I watched the trailer online and thought, it has a political twist, a little darkness, it could be good. And I had the day off today with nothing better to do, besides shop for matzo, which is enough to depress any self-respecting Jew. So, I jumped on the bus and headed to the southside mall all by my lonesome. At this point I was a little nervous because I haven't gone to a movie by myself in a long time. It used to be nothing, yes I'm overweight and have trouble fitting in the seats so it was easier and less embarrasing to just go by myself and see what I wanted. But then I made some friends and started to going to movies on a regular basis, at the actual theater. Then these friends graduated and I was back to going to the movies by myself. But I like it. I get to see the movie I want, and I don't have to worry about coordinating cars and such. I go and leave when I want, do what I want afterwards. It's definatley a freeing experience to be on my own.
Anyway, this movie made the political statement I've been waiting for for years. It was gripping and funny, sad and exciting all in one. I can't even begin to tell you how the acting touched me, deep in my radical soul. Yes, under these modest trappings, I'm a hippie at heart. I know that disturbs my family, but the child of a radical must be what thier heart tells them. This movie made my heart sing, the ironic twists and sad poignant truths. Those moments are the moments I want to create. On paper, maybe even on screen. I didn't know I had these feelings in me. I didn't know I wanted to write so bad. But now I do and I don't want to stop writing until my hands fall off. It's not enough to yell and protest until your throat is sore. If you're not heard on a large scale you've wasted your time. The singer-songwriters of generations past had it right. Share your message with the masses, cover your ideals with the melodies of harmony and happiness and prove your point.
My own mother had it right. Raise your family, raise your children to do what's in thier hearts. Educate them and show them the path, but let them choose the forks and turns they walk along. At the end of the day that's the only way they're going to be thier own people. I'm glad my mother passed away, I'm glad she got sick, not in the way your thinking. I'm glad because it taught me the nature of life, how fragile and fleeting it can be. How precious time and energy are. How important health and happiness can be. This movie, vendetta, showed me all these things again. It made me realize, just a movie I know, that life is meant to be lived. Fear is nothing, it controls us, and it really is nothing more than a chemical response. All emotions are, so why do we give fear so much credit. I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out. All I know is, fear is nothing, it won't be part of my vocabulary anymore. With the events of the last week, being kicked out of school, with everything, with everything on the line like this; it's a new year, a new me, time to change. |
It looks amazing doesn't it eh! 
yes that's then naked.. they like the whole nakedness thing... let's hope the take that to heart at the concert...
